Lineage... what?

This topic arose from a long night with Vanessa discussing our lives in the deepest of details....

I am a very lucky girl. I have a Dad and a step-mother who love me. I have friends who I would die for and who I know would die for me. I am self-sufficient, confident and I'm making it on my own out here in the grand ole' land of Utah. But I'm missing something...

I miss my siblings. I miss Tanner, and Kelsey, and Tyler and Cort and Sam and yes, Dillon too. But this post is directed towards my siblings in Niagara.

I wish that I could know what I did to be looked at by you the way that you do. I got sick... I did stupid things, and I was a shitty role model. Those things I understand.... But to be seen as the black sheep, the dynamite of the family, by nearly every one of my siblings doesn't seem fair. You all had someone. Tanner, you're too young to understand. Kelsey, you found in Heather the support and trust that I was never allowed to have in anyone else, and Tyler you were old enough to get out of dodge when things got sketch. Call me selfish... but I don't feel like an eating disorder and a psychological illness that I have no control overshould be punishable by virtual abandonment by my family in the greater Niagara.

I visited Niagara for Tanner's birthday in August. Numerous phone calls and emails later, then not any communication at all (and not for lack of trying on my part) I was still not told when his birthday was. I show up anyway the night of the 7th hoping for at least a squeeze from Tann, but behold, a birthday party in progress. Carolynn didn't so much as meet my eye the entire time I was in her house.