Retail Therapy

I know that in this economy I shouldn't be complaining about being poor. We have food in the fridge, formula in Emerys belly and a roof over our head. That being said, I really want new clothes!


My post pregnancy body is what it is. I've lost every single ounce of baby weight but I'm confident that my body will never again agree with the tight jeans and tops that I used to wear. And to think that I used to complain that I had no curves. All of my pre-preggo shorts will never again fit these hips and the increase in the chest department has rendered all of my tops frumpy and too tight. I've been resorting to Brandons boxers and t-shirts the second that I get home from work. Not a good look for me.


I'm hoping that I can maybe I can stash enough cash to splurge a little bit and get myself some shorts and tanks for the summer. One can only dream...

The power of "Thank you" and "Excuse me"

Does it ever bother you when you do something nice for someone, like hold the door or pick up something that they've dropped, and they don't even say thank you? Before I met Brandon I would always just let it slide but believe it or not, the boy has given me some courage.

I used to get SOOO embarrassed when we were out in public and someone would, for example, bump into me. Brandon would turn to the person as they walked away and very loudly say something along the lines of "Oh, excuse me! I didn't mean to bump into you and I'm SO sorry!" Or if he was holding the door for somebody and they didn't acknowledge it he would yell "You're welcome!" Well, needless to say, I now see the power behind it.

Yesterday I was storing some personal items for a co-worker in my office. They came back every hour or so, asking for their things, and when they brought them back they dumped them on the counter without so much as a word and walked away. It was really starting to bug me, so last night when they did it again, as they were walking away down the hallway from my office I sucked it up and yelled "You're welcome. I'm happy to help!" They kept walking and I felt like a jerk.

Today, as I grudgingly stored their things, my co-worker gave me a sincere thanks; and they've smiled and said thanks every time they've needed something. It has made my morning.

Mission accomplished.

Updates Updates Updates

It's been a really long time since I've been on here. I'm pretty sure that nobody but Kristen ever looks at it, but in the best interest of keeping my long distance inlaws up to date I'll try to post more often.

Things are going pretty well. Emery was seven months old yesterday. It's hard to believe but she's already weighing in at 19.6 pounds! Her bottom two front teeth came in and she's sitting up by herself now. It's only a matter of time before she starts crawling... I need to start baby proofing our house. She's eating all kinds of solid foods nowadays and her favorites seem to be bananas and anything with chicken. I love how she's showing preference for flavors. She refuses to eat oatmeal or anything with beef; she lets it sit on her tongue and gags on it before she spits it out. The faces she makes are priceless! Teething is making her stuffy and cranky. Poor goose can't even have a chooch when she takes a nap because she can't breathe out of her nose. As sad as it is, it's kind of adorable because now she snores like Brandon.

Work is going well. I took a new position as the key room attendant and spend my day handing out keys, tracking lost and found and relaying item requests for the housekeeping staff. It's a really small office but I like that I have designated responsibilities now; as opposed to my previous position where I spent my days hunting down work. We're short staffed so I'll be working 6 days per week indefinitely. It's good on the cash dollars end, but I already really miss my baby goose. Brandon got a new job this month. He's slinging liquor and smokes for seriously discounted prices at the Duty Free Americas store on the Rainbow Bridge. Minimum wage in the States sucks... alot... but you take what you can get.

On the school front, I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Nothing is really clicking though there are alot of topics that I think would be cool to look into. The most recent that has piqued my interest is home appraisal. Apparently there is a HUGE market but it's extremely competitve. I've been badgering Brandon to apply for FAFSA and go to school in Niagara or Buffalo. I feel like a jerk when I pressure him about it but somebody to be the motivator!

Life is life and right now it's good. I'll pop on when I get home and post some pictures of our more recent family adventures.

Ugh.

A little bit of complaining...

Someone at work stole my Brand New cd.
This office is unbelievably dusty.
There was a gross spider in my cabinet and now I don't want to get my files out...

Sigh.

Gotta love it.

Holy 401K payout!

Maybe now we can afford to file to make Brandon legal in my country, since I'm no longer legal in his.

Rice cereal!

Emery is getting so big! Yesterday I came home and she kicked her feet up in the air and tipped over! She ROLLED! She's been getting kinda fussy these last few days. Poor girl... teething must suck. Lately, her very very very favorite thing to do is chew on our fingers.

Christmas was good. We went over to my moms house at 8 a.m while Brandon was at work. After presents were opened we watched the "Big Bang Theory" all day. It's hilarious! Once Brandon got home, he opened his presents we went to my Nana's for dinner. Oh. My. God. SO much food! Em has enough clothes to last her for years.

:(

I'm in denial. Apparently we're supposed to start feeding Em solid foods this month... I'm scared that once we start that she won't want to nurse any more. I like nursing... It helps me feel close to her while I'm at work and she's at home....

Sigh.

On a happier note...

Emery Jordan. 4 months old!

I love our apartment. I love my husband and I love my daughter. I love that Emery LAUGHS all of the time now. I love that she has figured out how to stuff both of her hands in her mouth at the same time. I love that when I get home from work and she hears my voice that she gets excited. I love that she has her own bookshelf full of her own little noogie books and that she is so squirmy when we try to read to her. I love that Christmas music makes her make her confused face. I love how big she's getting! I love how many pictures we have of her. I love her and Brandons "gangster" picture (I'll post it when I get home.) I love that Brandon and I are on the same page in regards to what kind of parents that we want to be. I love that we are such a happy little family.

I'm grateful for the help that we have, and that we're both employed full time. I'm grateful to be close to my family too, no matter how much I want to kill them sometimes. I'm grateful that Brandon loved me enough to move across North America for the betterment of our little family. I am grateful for my friends here, who even after 4 years of my being gone, are still exactly the same. I'm grateful that some things never change.

<3

A failing poker face.

I miss Utah. I miss Sofija. I miss Ginny and her girls. I miss Brandons family. I miss the mountains. I miss Salt Lake. I miss having a car. I miss feeling independant.

I miss my baby girl. Not that I'm not a "modern" person... but I would die to be home with Emery all day. I hate that Brandon and I work opposite shifts. I miss him.

Sigh.

P.s.

Emery is weighing in at 14 POUNDS!

Some Pictures.

Canada eh?

So we did it. We made the big move from Salt Lake City, Utah to Niagara Falls, Canada on November 1st. I flew Emery to my moms house a few days before we left. No baby should ever have to spend 40 hours in a car seat. I learned a few things on the drive.

1)My Chevy Aveo is a champion. We drove 2000 miles with my tiny little car pulling a U-haul trailer. Even though she maxed out at about 50 mph most of the time, we made it without a breakdown. We named her on the way too. Delores... she's a trooper.

2)Roadkill of any variety is vomit inducing. Highways painted red suck.

3)Iowa and Nebraska are neverending states.

4)Brandon is amazing. There will never be anyone else in my life who is even close to as perfect.

Emery is three months old! She's smiling and giggling all the time now. It makes me feel so happy when she coo's at the nonesense we sing to her. Her little body is situating itself, no more pooping issues! (It's a huge deal, believe me.) She's growing so much! She's rounding out into a very rolly Noog. Most of the time she's wearing 6 month clothes now. Her little feet don't reach the ends yet, but the rest fits perfect.

Brandon and I both have jobs now. In this economy, we're very lucky that Brandon found something so quickly. He's now a bellman/valet at the Embassy Suites in Buffalo. True to form, he hates it but I think it's just because he misses the badass people he worked with in Utah. He's sucking it up in the best interest of our family. I love that boy. I start at Fallsview Plaza tomrrow morning. It's my first admin job but I think I'll rock it. (That's not cocky... it's positive!)

We've been staying at my moms house since we got here. It's gone pretty well if I do say so and its been pretty awesome of mom and Carm to help us out like this. I can't thank them enough. I love being so close to Trenton with Dad and Ang only a short-ish drive away. We've only made it up there once to visit so far but I'm hoping to go back soon. We move into our own place in a week! As much as it's been great staying here at moms, Brandon and I are both dying for our own space and our privacy back. (I'm sure my parents are too.) The new place a pretty cute apartment and I'm looking forward to turning it into our own little nest. That being said, I miss our little apartment in Utah (not to mention everyONE I miss in Utah.) Emery's room was my favorite. Once we get settled in, I'm looking forward to making her her own little nursery again.

Em's waking up, gotta run.

Emery is spending lots more time awake these days. At this point, she still has very little interest in her toys but lights can hold her attention for minutes on end! Our little noog is growing up so fast.

We're moving soon. Two weeks ago, it seemed like it was so far away... Now with only a week to go I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed with what has to be accomplished. Packing, packing, painting and packing. Did I mention packing? I'm pretty proud though. I managed to selll all of our furniture on KSL in just one day! The downside to that is not having anywhere to sit in our house. It's pretty awkward to nurse a baby on the floor...

Brandon is off tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting to spend some family time with just the three of us.

Emery is spending lots more time awake these days. At this point, she still has very little interest in her toys but lights

Eating like kings.

After MY dinner last night of a graham cracker with peanut butter on it and Brandons dinner of a tootsie pop and some orange juice... Brandons tip money buying us some salad stuff and food storage hamburger helper from his mom= Us feeling really grateful.

People...

We just got home from the pediatrician. As new parents, I find it funny how when Emery seems "off", our first thought is that she might be sick. Well, as all of our parents told us already, Dr. Fox confirmed that our baby girls rash is normal for a nugget of her age. Speaking of a nugget her age... Emery is weighing in at a whopping 9 lbs and 6 oz! 21st percentile! (I have NO clue what that means. She got her 2 month vaccinations today.

That brings me to the point of this posting. The nurse came in and we got Emery all situated on the table. Three needles later, Emery was crying and I was too. (Kudos to Brandon for holding her... my heart was breaking and I couldn't watch.) When we got home, we were talking about how incredibly insane it is that some people can hurt their children. This morning I was literally crying with Emery.... She is as much a part of me and Brandon as our own hearts. It hurts me to see her hurting and I want nothing but the very best for her. That we live in a world where everyday on the news we see a new story of the inhumane things that people can do to their own flesh and blood is something that I will never comprehend.

I hope that there is a special place in hell reserved for those who can hurt and neglect their own.

Ummm yeah.

Big news of the week: We're moving home to Canada at the end of this month. My feelings about the subject are very mixed. While I know that our situation is going to really improve, I already miss Utah and all of the people here that I love. Sad face.

On the upside, free healthcare!

The last six weeks...

Bathtime!!!!

Beach day at Pineview with Grampy!!! She's loving it... obviously.

Think we might be a tad over-protective? This was on a walk to the grocery store.

Lovin.

Our baby girl turned six weeks old yesterday! She's at that wonderful "in-between" stage where newborn clothes don't fit her and 0-3 clothes are too big. She's swimming in basically everything she wears. I personally think it's cute. Brandon and I, I'm confident, have adjusted well to being parents. We're getting into a good groove and I'm glad things haven't really changed between us. I wasn't sure what to expect (and What to Expect didn't have very much advice.)

I wanted to say thanks to a few people. First of all, to Brandon. You rock lover. Second, my mom and Kelsey. They saved my ass when they came out to help Emery's first week home. Third, my Dad. Sanity saver times a million. Kristen, thanks for helping give us a break as a couple.

Brandon is off today! I'm not too sure what we're going to do, but I'm glad he's here.

(I'd also like to add a random thanks to the makers of Diet Coke... you add sanity to my life on a Daily basis.)

Apparently life with a newborn offers significantly less time to blog lol. Emery is getting bigger by the second! She's grown out of her newborn clothes

It's early. Bear with my random string of thoughts...

Welcome to our world Emery Jordan!

It's 4 a.m and I just finished feeding the baby. She's such a chill little girl! She was born on Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 and weighing in at 6 lbs and 6 oz, she's just a tiny little thing. She's six days old today.... I can see the next 18 years flashing by WAY too quickly...

Now that I've seen her and held her in my own arms, I can't imagine what life would be like without her. I've read countless books and articles that say having a child changes your world...They weren't kidding. Brandon is the cutest daddy I've ever seen. Watching him hold and cuddle our little nugget makes my heart break. I didn't think it was possible to love him any more than I already did... then I watch him with our baby girl and I swear that my body doesn't have enough room to hold my heart.

I promise, eventually there will not be posts about me hoping to go into labor.

We were at Dr. Ward's yesterday and he gave us the pretty definitive answer that Emery is going to be here before the end of this week. I think my heart just about stopped. We have everything ready: A few months supply of diapers; her crib bedding and clothes all washed and our bags packed for the hospital. What I didn't count on after hearing the news was the overwhelming need to ready our apartment (please note that it wasn't dirty in the first place.)

As soon as we walked in the door I started cleaning. I threw laundry in, set a plan to scour the bathrooms and the kitchen, unpacked and RE-packed our hospital bag and tried to let it sink in that Brandon and I will officially be parents very soon. While I'm sitting here typing this I can feel her squiggling around under my ribs. As uncomfy as it is, I think that I'm going to miss the feeling. It's crazy.

Fridays....

I'll never understand why it's nearly impossible to wake up on Friday mornings. Most people have a hard time on Mondays, especially after sleeping in all weekend, but Fridays are my kryptonite. I'm grateful that Brandon had the courage to pry my grumpy ass out of bed this morning and make me go to work. Most of the time as soon as I'm awake, I'm up. Today I'm just glad he didn't lose a limb. (I cannot be held responsible for my actions while sleeping.)

Last night the girls from work had a cute little baby shower for Emery at Dee's out on Redwood. I've gotta say... the waitresses there were a little frightening. The first one who came up to our table brought water with suspicious looking "floaties" that one could only assume was "minerals" and then proceeded to give me parenting advice. (I'd like to mention that this waitress looked to be about eighteen and had numerous holes in her face.) Our actual waitress took our orders and dropped off our plates without realizing that she had missed an entire PERSON at the table. Fifteen minutes later we had to go hunt her down to find food for poor Nicole and her gorgeous baby girl Angelina. Last but not least, as we were finishing up our food, another random waitress climbed the side of our booth and balanced over Gails head to adjust the blinds. My overall observation: you don't need ANY qualifications, people or hygiene skills to apply and be hired at Dee's. It made for some pretty good stories. The girls spoiled Emery! She got some bottles, toys, cute lil' brain-squeezers, bibs and a gift card that I will gratefully use on diapers. :) I'll post pics as soon as they're uploaded.

When Brandon and I decided that we were going to try to have a baby I swore to myself that I would not be one of those whiny and cranky women who complain the whole time. Needless to say, I did not live up to my promise. Thanks to Brandon for having enough patience not to smother me in my sleep. I love you babe. <3

So the countdown continues.

Baby on the brain?

We had another doctors appointment this week. Emery's still doing good and weighing in at an estimated 5 lbs. Knowing that at least FIVE of the pounds on the scale equal nugget (the baby variety) and not doritos makes me feel good. Dr. Ward has an amazing sense of humor. While still "appearing" sympathetic, he maintained his ground that he WILL not take the nugget any sooner than planned. I would feel more guilty about wanting her to just be "borned" already but I know for a FACT that I'm not the only person this close to having a baby who has almost BEGGED her doctor for an early induction.

Even tho I was firmly told no, it makes me grateful for the modern medicine that allows women more freedom, safety and choice in regards to the birthing process.



Or....



Which would you decide?



I'm really looking forward to the time off that I have coming up. I know that there are alot of women who work up until the day that they deliver, but Lord knows that that's not going to be me. I'll have some time to tie up any loose ends in getting ready for D-Day but I'm mostly excited to abuse the weeks off and just relax. It's going to be at least another... and this is a guestimate... 18 years before I'll have a chance to do it again, so why not take advantage now?

Today =

Owie. :(

Cute lil' nugget things!!!!

How awesome is this?! I got into work this morning, dragging ass, as usual. Nicole had gone shopping last night and surprised me with the CUTEST Dr. Seuss onesie!


I love little nugget things. <3

Health Care and then some...

Lurking facebook this morning I noticed a post on my step-dads wall. I'm stealing it because I think he has a very valid point...

"As a proud Canadian, I would like to know where the republican party is finding these Canadians who believe that the Canadian health care system is so bad that they would rather go to the United States to pay for health care. Yes, at times you are required to wait in the ER, yes your non-life threatening surgery may not be immediate, and yes we pay higher taxes, but my father was able to have a quadruple by-pass with no waiting time and was not given an invoice to be paid when he left the hospital. In Canada we have some of the most talented doctors in the world. Don't let the right wing rhetoric or the false commercials steer you away from a health care system that takes care of all it's countries citizens and not the select few. If there are Americans that are truly want private health care then they should be allowed to pay for it, some people have more money than brains."
-Carmine Ioannoni-

Even after reading this out loud to the people I work with I have still yet to meet a single middle-class (i.e not loaded) American who wouldn't GLADLY pay higher taxes or barter their first born for free health care. I can't even number how many people that I've met here who struggle with chronic illnesses and still recieve no treatment. Sometimes it's because they simply can't afford insurance but it's also because the co-pays required even if they HAVE insurance would total out to be more is needed to cover rent and groceries for the next few months.

Given my current impregnated state I notice these things more... but I think that the situation needs to be changed when in the E.R at every local hospital a sign reads something to the effect of "If you are in labour you have the right to recieve stabilizing medical care." When I asked about it I was told that it basically means that if you don't have your insurance cards, a VERY high balance credit card or cash in hand that you will be giving birth at home as soon as the shot wears off. (Not an exact quote... but that's the general idea.)
It makes me look very skeptically into the future and wonder what's going to happen if Brandon gets laid off and we lose our insurance. What if Emery has a high fever or gets sick? What if Brandons foot falls off because the IHC doctors here are retarded and can't tell us what's wrong with it? What if I need meds that we don't have the money to cover anymore?

Yeah... the outlook is pretty positive, eh?

If there is one thing that drives me absolutely batty, it's people in America correcting the way I pronounce words. I'm not stupid... If I don't say something properly it's because I'm choosing not to (barring any type of Spanish city because Lord knows with that I'm hopeless.) I'm having a bitter moment... you'll have to excuse me.

Sigh.

Large. Sunburnt. Sore...

= Cranky.

Wow.

It's 6:20 a.m in the morning and I've just signed into the phones at work. First call of the day is some cranky butt from Florida yelling at me because he doesn't like the replacement bat he recieved. True to form, I had him laughing by the end of our TWENTY min phone call but I'll never understand a persons strategy of yelling and swearing at those they expect help from.
Whoooooo Saaaaaaaaa.

It's forty-four days until we are scheduled to have our lil' baby nugget. I keep having dreams about what she'll look like (other than all wrinkled and alien-like of course...) I like to think she'll be pretty cute. :)She is going to be soooo loved. Her daddy is fantastic and he spoils me absolutely rotten. I miss him! We've been working sort of opposite shifts and I'm always thrashed by the time he gets home. But I got home from work yesterday feeling pretty "yuck" and he had cleaned our entire apartment to make sure I had nothing to do so that I would just relax. Given that I had nothing left to do I went to the pool with Sofija. The sun was GLORIOUS yesterday.

Oh Baby!

Oh the changes!

Since my last post life has happened. FAST!
I'll start with the big stuff... Brandon and I got married! He's such a sweetheart. We are having a baby girl this September and are totally excited. I'm sportin a baby belly now...yeah. We moved to Bountiful and I love our little home. It's adorable.

The weather this week has been fantastic. The sushine is amazing. Now I just wish

Follow up

Halloween was intense. Saltair, as always, was absolutely fabulous.

Silverstein!

I love the Saltair.

We went to a hella great concert last night. It was SUCH a great time. Epic even.

Silverstein is one of my fave Canadian bands. Sofija, Max and I met some awesome random concert kids who sniffed us out, begging for cloves, in the middle of a huge field. We ended up chilling with them off and on for the rest of the night. It was pretty bad ass.

We kicked trach and took names. Mhmm.

Thanksgiving.

Ness and I had our first Thanksgiving together!

Lineage... what?

This topic arose from a long night with Vanessa discussing our lives in the deepest of details....

I am a very lucky girl. I have a Dad and a step-mother who love me. I have friends who I would die for and who I know would die for me. I am self-sufficient, confident and I'm making it on my own out here in the grand ole' land of Utah. But I'm missing something...

I miss my siblings. I miss Tanner, and Kelsey, and Tyler and Cort and Sam and yes, Dillon too. But this post is directed towards my siblings in Niagara.

I wish that I could know what I did to be looked at by you the way that you do. I got sick... I did stupid things, and I was a shitty role model. Those things I understand.... But to be seen as the black sheep, the dynamite of the family, by nearly every one of my siblings doesn't seem fair. You all had someone. Tanner, you're too young to understand. Kelsey, you found in Heather the support and trust that I was never allowed to have in anyone else, and Tyler you were old enough to get out of dodge when things got sketch. Call me selfish... but I don't feel like an eating disorder and a psychological illness that I have no control overshould be punishable by virtual abandonment by my family in the greater Niagara.

I visited Niagara for Tanner's birthday in August. Numerous phone calls and emails later, then not any communication at all (and not for lack of trying on my part) I was still not told when his birthday was. I show up anyway the night of the 7th hoping for at least a squeeze from Tann, but behold, a birthday party in progress. Carolynn didn't so much as meet my eye the entire time I was in her house.

And it goes on...

Well, I decided to try longboarding. It was hella fun and made me stoked for snowboarding...then I bailed off of the board at the bottom of a large hill and biffed it. Concrete is not as forgiving as snow...

It getting colder and the leaves are changing. Fall is my favorite time of year. There is just something about walking out into the brisk morning air and smelling wet leaves that makes it easy to start the day on a positive note.

Into the Industry...

Lots has changed, as always seems to be the case.

Vanessa and I moved out of Amanda's. Our new place is pretty bad-ass, we've been there for only 3 weeks and I already love it. It's old and rustic and everything is broken, but we have an antique bathtub, one of those crazy ones on 4 legs. It's the absolute best place in the world to just sink in and relax after a crazy day. So.... I did it. I got into sales. Ness and I bought into a company called PartyGals. We're officially distributors of sex toys, lotions and a bunch of other crazy nonsense. I did my first party last night. This is going to be hella fun. How often can people really say that they sell orgasms for a living?
I

Hookah, hooka or huka?

Hookah, hooka or huka? Apparently it really doesn't matter when you're sitting in your living room at 3a.m after a night out with the girls. I'm loving life. Since getting home from Canada life feels like it's basically been a non-stop party. My roommates are great!

True love comes with a morning face.

My trip to Canada turned out to be amazing.

I seriously missed spending time with my fam in Trenton. Band practice; talking with my dad; seeing old and dear friends... It was heartbreaking to leave. My time in Niagara was great! I could have spent more time at mums, but we all know how that goes. Dev's was so chill. Her roommates cat was a soul-sucking demon who I swear was going to kill me in my sleep but I SO want to live there. I met a way cool new person who I wish I could have gotten to know better, some people I could have done without meeting at all and drank far more than a person my size should. I'm counting the days till I can go back.

All these things aside I'm really relieved to be home. I missed my friends desperately and my heart heaved a sigh of relief to be picked up at the airport when I landed in Salt Lake. This new position I'm starting at work has me both terrified and exhilarated at the same time. I've never done anything like this and it's a huge confidence booster to be given this much responsibility. I've been getting alot of support from a particular manager at work who I swear is a blessing to keep me sane. Pam, you rock.

Working less overtime and just taking the time to relax, have fun and actually sleep are having great impact. I think I'm going to roll with it for a while... It's workin for me.

Cause if you left it up to me... every day would be a holiday from real.

Rockband addicts anonymous

So much work, too much play.

This week has been friggin busy! Amanda and I had a new roommate move in. She brought out in us the desire to turn our huge and basically bare apartment into a home. I'll be here in SLC for at least the next year so I might as well make my place chill, ya know? We're painting the living room when I get home from my trip and Jer helped me start grabbing furniture already. I'm pretty thrilled about the whole undertaking.

I've been making a concentrated effort to "look at the bright side". It's there, I just need to keep a trained eye open. These are supposed to be the best years of my life! I've wasted too much time these past few years on unnecessary stress and since I made that decision I've had fabulous days.

Is it a waste of cash to buy a game console knowing I'll never use it for anything but rockband? I'll think about it. I think it's worth it... Steffany and I are having another "bored with our current hair party" tomorrow afternoon. Not entirely sure what she wants to do, but I get the impression that tomorrow night I won't be a redhead anymore and that I'll have significantly shorter locks.

This graveyard shift has been a waste of the Hilton's money. 10 phone calls --- 8 hours on the clock. Is it fair?

The swing kids are on MY team.

I leave for my visit home to Canada in ten days but I'm having some pretty mixed feelings about the trip. It's ironic... going home is going to force me to step out of the comfort zone that I've created for myself here, as disfunctional as it may be, and step back into the world that I ran from in the first place. I keep reminding myself how far I've come. I'm making it on my own out here and that's something that I was never able to do living in Niagara.

I'm excited to see my old friends. I'm beyond excited to just chill out at Devons and be the retarded self that she brings out in me. I'm stoked to go to the club and make a fool of myself with my 'oh so stellar' dancing skills. Guitar hero with Hez? Yes please.

I wonder if I'll miss Salt Lake City. ...Miss might not be the right word... I'm going to miss my people.

By all means.

Tonight was kind of intense. I know that I'm existing in a whole different world out here but I had no idea how different things actually could be until I was parked in Draper

Starting fresh.

I'm still here.

Here just happens to be in SLC. Life has been having its moments but alot of them have been really good for me. As per usual, I've been learning my lessons the hard way. I'm alright with it. It's keeping things interesting.